"I don't know"

This is our first blog post in February 2020 and my God I thought we wouldn't have made it. Not because I didn't believe we wouldn’t but January felt like a whole year just within 31 days. It felt like so much was happening to me and within the world that there was a question about why the year was starting out like this. I've never been the one to throw in the towel early or cast negativity on the future so I hope the last 31 days in 2020 were setups for my next 334 days that we all have left. This past week I had the opportunity to travel to Atlanta, GA to help the recruiting team at my job with events they had planned for my Alma Mater Spelman College as well as the surrounding schools. This opportunity came at the right time because just as I am figuring out what I want to do with my post-graduation life, this trip served as the motivation I needed to keep going- I’ll tell you how in the next few paragraphs. We are doing things differently this week. Typically we post on Fridays but because of the busy week I had and honestly I was looking for inspiration to write this post, I received the essence of this message a few days after I normally do. My goal is to make this “brand” or series of blog posts not only helpful and transformative but also honest. Honest in my journey that comes with writing, what I put out and I promised myself back in 2018 that Workin Girl was going to never produce something for the sake of putting it out. That everything we create to be consumed would be authentic. So, sticking to that- I apologize we missed our regularly scheduled programming but I also am not sorry for taking the time to ensure that what you are reading now is real and true so that you can continue to work on things that actually matter. Throughout the week I engaged with students from different majors, classifications and institutions with a hope to not just recruit them to work for my company for an internship or full-time but to begin to think about answering the question of what do you want to do? Especially when it comes to post-graduation. Now in order for me to speak to students or even you all about this, I have to tell a story about the time where I was asked what I wanted to be when I grew up. In the 1st grade, my school had a career day, where students were supposed to come to school dressed like what they wanted to be when they grew up and there was a program for our parents to attend, to watch the class present their future plans. My peers came dressed as firefighters, police officers, doctors and every other typical job profession a 6-year-old wanted to be at the time. On the other hand, per usual I was different in the way I came to school that day. Different in the sense that as everyone else was dressed up, practicing what they were going to say in front of all the parents, I, with my blue jeans and black t-shirt was in the corner of the room just watching it all happen. I don't remember any of this however, my mom can tell you that when it was my turn to go up in front of the class and all the parents. I stood tall, shoulders pressed back, cleared my throat and said “when I grow up...I want to be...myself”.

Maybe I was above my years (which is what my mom said on the way home) but now looking back on it, I can somewhat understand what happened that day. As I looked around my whole life, everyone but I had a good idea of what they wanted to be or accomplish in life. I had a cousin who was adamant about being a doctor, another friend who was determined to obtain two Ph.D.’s and my boyfriend who has dreams of being and owning a sports agency. I'm not saying that knowing what you want to do is a bad thing however, this message is for those of us who are still figuring it out. But there's something to be learned from my 6-year-old self. That just being me is more than enough to be who I want to be now and in the future which in turn will determine my success. Being me as simple as it is to the eye is more complex than putting myself in a box of striving to be just a lawyer or doctor. Those are great professions, ones that I have even taken an interest in at one point but where my confusion with figuring out the answer to the question of what do I want to do? Draws from the overload of interest I have. Who else has over 100 things they are interested in that they wouldn't mind pursuing?

Our answers to the question of what do you want to do are put into the phrase “I don't know” not because we truly don't know but it's because telling someone you want to be a researcher-content creator-blogger-dance teacher-venture capitalist-board member-management director while on the side being a detective-candle maker-hair stylist-personal chef-clothing line-owner all sounds ridiculous in one breath. Our interest span beyond the realistic means of what someone can accomplish in one lifetime so to keep things simple we say I don't know to assist us in the process while we narrow our list down to something more achievable. Am I in your business? Maybe I’m sharing too much of mine.

So I say all this for what? If the process of knocking things off your interest list is where you stand I have something for you. And if you are that person who wants to admit that their interests are not deemed worthy to society as a way to be successful, then I also have something for you. No matter where you are on the line, I want to share something that has stuck with me. What you are purposed to do in life in some way, shape or form has already been revealed to you. Your love for kids? Yeah, you're purposed to do something where you're interacting with them. That voice? Yeah, you like to talk all the time, too much at times. You are purposed to use that somehow. That OCD you have? Where you pay too much attention to detail, that is supposed to be used somehow. All the little things in your life that give you joy, get you excited and put a smile on your face are things that you should look to when figuring out a career path. It's not going to drop out of the sky or come to you from a youtube video or book but it has already made itself known to you. Take some time for the next month to search for the purpose you have already been given. Even in the little things. Down to the type of Netflix shows you like to watch vs the hobbies you engage in. I promise you that if you commit yourself to it, it will show itself. Everything will align itself. Stay faithful. I always tell people when they ask me questions but just to reiterate...I don't have this life thing working out. And just as I come to these revelations, I share them in hopes to motivate and inspire those who find comfort in our blogs. We are all Workin Girls, striving towards bettering ourselfs in things that matter- alongside one another.